Why Your Bad Shots Matter More Than You Think

For just a minute…. let's talk about Taylor Swift.

And before you click away thinking "what does a pop star have to do with my golf game?" — stay with me. Because what Taylor has been doing for the past five years might just be the permission slip you need to finally get out on that golf course.

Here's the thing: Taylor Swift has released more albums in the last five years than some artists release in their entire careers. She's been constantly creating, experimenting, re-recording, trying new sounds, collaborating with different producers. Some albums were massive cultural moments. Some were quieter. But here's what she didn't do: she didn't wait for perfect.

She didn't sit in her studio for five years perfecting one album until every single note was flawless. She created, she released, she learned, she created again.

And that? That's exactly how you need to approach golf.

The Perfectionism Trap That's Keeping You Off the Course

I get it. You want to take "just a few more lessons" before you book that tee time. You want to practice until you can consistently hit your 7-iron straight down the middle. You are intimidated to play golf at one of those high tech simulator places - which golf course should you pick? what do those stats mean? You don’t know, so you don’t go. You want to make sure you know all the rules before you join that ladies league.

You're thinking: "I'll get out there when I'm better. When I'm ready. When I won't embarrass myself."

But here's what I've learned after working with hundreds of beginner women golfers: that day will never come if you wait for perfection.

Just like Taylor couldn't have become Taylor Swift by endlessly perfecting one song in private, you can't become a confident golfer by endlessly hitting balls at the range and never stepping foot on a course. While your goals for your golf game may not have super-stardom level aspirations - you likely want to feel comfortable & confident and somewhat consistent out there - you can’t have that without getting through the uncomfortable, unnerving and inconsistent moments first.

The transformation happens in the messy middle. It happens when you top the ball off the first tee in front of strangers. It happens when you three-putt from six feet. It happens when you lose four balls in the water on hole number three.

Those aren't failures. Those are milestones.

My "Messy Action" Moment That Changed Everything

Want to know a secret? The round that changed my entire relationship with golf was objectively terrible.

I had taken a beginner clinic. I had practiced at the range. I felt like I had a decent handle on my swing. I was really comfortable at my home golf course. So when a good friend invited me to play golf in Pinehurst on championship level golf courses, I thought "Okay, I'm ready." Obviously I did not expect to be parring every hole - but I thought OK - what an adventure! - I can play from the most forward tees and I’ll be fine!

Reader, I was not fine.

This was nothing like the golf that I had played at home. This was target golf. There were no wide open fairways - there were hazards everywhere - trees, tall grass, rolling landscape, deep bunkers seemingly everywhere. Pinehurst incorporates native landscaping and sandy areas, which can resemble "waste areas" or "sandy wastelands" in their natural, untamed state, rather than traditional bunkers. My ball entered those things more times than I could count - and God only knows what else was in there because I was not trying to get my ball out of them. Split fairways, several deep bunkers guarding each green, and a longer distance than I’d ever played - even from the forward tees.

To add insult to injury, the forward tees were called the “Baby Blue” tees. I mean, objectively the name was referring to the light blue color of the tee markers as opposed to the dark blue of the furthest back set dark blue tees. BUT come on! “Baby!” Ugh.

I was so rattled that by the 5th hole, it was hard for me to even concentrate when standing over my ball to hit my drive. I tried to shrug off my feelings and keep moving but I might have actually started crying a little by hole 7.

But here's what happened: at the half-way house, I had a half a turkey sandwich and a Coke Zero. I felt refreshed. I kept going. I changed my expectations and my strategy. If I hit my drive, great! If I flubbed it, I played from my golf partner’s drive. And somewhere around hole ten, something shifted. I stopped caring about the score and started caring about the experience. I started feeling so much lighter instead of dying inside. I came out of my own head and started paying more attention to & cheering on my golf partners games. I started actually enjoying myself.

We played 4 rounds of 18 holes that trip - and the “bad” round was on the 3rd of the 4 rounds of golf. The last round we played was actually planned for same golf course we played the first day - Pine Needles. Now, if I had given up because of that awful round on the 3rd day, I would have never felt the amazing victory of playing way better at Pine Needles the second time around! I was determined to make it a better day - and I nailed most of my drives, sunk my putts even on fast greens. It wasn’t pro golfer status but it was above my usual performance and that was enough make me truly elated & cherish that memory to this day. I have a huge metal stamped ball marker from Pine Needles that I treasure, a keepsake that represents resilience.

That terrible, messy, imperfect round is what made me a golfer. Not my good rounds. My awful one.

Is it a waste of money to go on a golf trip and play “bad” golf? I don’t think so. I simply don’t have opportunities to play golf courses like that locally - so there’s really no way I could have prepared any better than I was. I’m so passionate and I enjoy playing golf so much - and I want to take more golf trips! At least for my next big adventure I will have a much better idea of what I’m getting into and with luck and a little practice, I will be way better prepared.

Every "Failure" Is Actually Data

Think about what Taylor Swift learned from each album. Reputation taught her something different than Folklore did. Midnights brought different insights than 1989. Each project was an experiment, and each experiment gave her information about what resonated, what worked, what to try next.

Your golf game works the same way.

That golf ball you couldn’t get out the bunker? That's not a failure — that's data. Now you know that’s something you need to work on in practice.

That putt you left three feet short? Information. Now you know you need to putt with authority, and must commit to your stroke.

That drive you sliced into the trees? Feedback. If you aren’t hitting fairways, start tracking whether your drive is going left or right. A pattern will emerge and you will be better for having the data and working from there.

Every single "bad" shot is a milestone on the path to becoming the golfer you want to be. But you can't collect that data on the range. You need the pressure of the course. You need the uneven lies. You need the different grass heights and the wind and the slight uphill slope you didn't notice.

You need the mess.

The Golf Version of "Shake It Off"

You know what Taylor Swift does in the face of adversity? She literally wrote a song about shaking it off and then performed it in sold-out stadiums.

You need your own golf version of "Shake It Off."

Here's mine: On hole one last week, I hit my drive literally dribbled maybe 15 feet off the tee. Instead of beating myself up, I told myself “I know I’m good with my irons.” I have this data about myself and in my head reinforced something good that is working for me. What happened next? Hit 2 five irons and landed on the green! Got a bogey and was super happy about that!

Here's the truth: perfectionism will rob you of more joy than any bad shot ever could.

When you're obsessing over every mistake, you miss the beautiful drive on hole five. You miss the great conversation with your playing partners. You miss the gorgeous weather and the satisfaction of sinking a fifteen-foot putt.

You miss the whole point of why we play this game.

What "Messy Action" Actually Looks Like in Golf

Messy action doesn't mean being reckless or unprepared. It means being prepared enough, and then going anyway.

Here's what messy action looks like:

• Joining a ladies league when you're still shooting in the 60s for nine holes

• Saying yes to that charity scramble even though you're nervous

• Playing from the forward tees without apologizing

• Taking a drop when you hit into the hazard instead of spending ten minutes looking for your ball

• Asking someone to play with you even though you don't know them well

• Booking a tee time solo because you want to practice course management

• Trying that new shot you've been working on at the range, even in a "real" round

It's showing up as the golfer you are right now, not the golfer you think you need to be.

The Timeline Nobody Talks About

Taylor Swift didn't become Taylor Swift overnight. Even though she was signed young, she spent years writing songs, performing, learning her craft, experimenting with her sound.

Your golf journey is going to take time too. And that's not just okay — it's necessary.

I didn't grow up playing golf. I tried it once in my twenties and decided it wasn't for me. I didn't seriously pick it up again until 2020. And even then, it took me:

• Several lessons and a full instructional clinic before I played nine holes

• Two entire seasons playing inconsistently before joining a league

• Three years before I took my first golf trip, playing 18 holes each day for 3 consecutive days (it kinda wore me out!)

I would argue that I didn’t actually feel ready for any of those milestones - I did them scared!

But here's what would have happened if I had waited for perfect: I'd still be at the driving range, thinking "maybe next year I'll be ready."

Instead, I've played in charity scrambles. I've taken golf trips with girlfriends. I've had four-hour conversations on the course that turned into real friendships. I've organized weekly tee times for dozens of women who also thought they "weren't ready yet."

All because I was willing to be bad at something in public.

Your Next Messy Action Step

So here's my challenge for you, inspired by Taylor's "just keep creating" philosophy:

What's one messy action step you can take in your golf journey this week?

Maybe it's:

• Booking a tee time at a Par 3 course even though you're nervous

• Asking a colleague if they want to hit the range together

• Signing up for that four-week beginner clinic you've been eyeing

• Joining the ladies league at your local course

• Posting about your golf journey on social media (yes, even the bad shots)

• Playing nine holes solo to practice without pressure

Pick one. Just one. And then do it before you talk yourself out of it.

Because here's what I know for sure: You're not going to become a golfer by thinking about golf, reading about golf, or watching golf. You're going to become a golfer by playing golf. Messily. Imperfectly. Courageously.

The Real Reason This Matters

This isn't really about golf, and it's not really about Taylor Swift either.

It's about the dreams you're putting on hold until you're "ready." It's about the experiences you're denying yourself because you haven't reached some arbitrary standard of perfection.

Maybe for you that's golf. Maybe it's something else entirely.

But whatever it is, I promise you this: The version of you who starts before she's ready will get there faster than the version of you who waits for perfect.

Taylor Swift didn't become a global superstar by releasing one perfect album. She got there by consistently showing up, creating, experimenting, failing, learning, and creating again.

Your golf journey — your whole life journey — works the same way.

The course is waiting. Your golf clubs are ready. The only thing missing is your decision to embrace the mess.

So what do you say? Ready to shake off the perfectionism and tee it up?

Your next step: Grab my free resource, The Ultimate Golf Bag Checklist, so when you do take that messy action step, you'll at least be prepared with what you need in your bag. Because messy action is one thing — showing up without bug spray and band-aids is another.

See you on the course — shanks, slices, and all.

Remember: Progress, not perfection. Every round is a milestone, even the messy ones.